‘Marriage is the best thing that happened to me’
With KATE HALIM katehalim@ymail.com 07042146485
Award-winning standup comedian Oluwaseyitan Aletile aka Seyi Law is enjoying marital bliss without bating an eyelid. The love-throb comedian's marriage to his heartthrob, Ebere Cham was a year old last month. The upwardly mobile comedian is so enthusiastic about having children because he wants to be a better father than his dad.
In an interview with Daily Sun, the humour merchant spoke passionately about his wife and their marriage. He tells you "my wife gives me some pampering that helps calm my nerves whenever I am stressed." Seyi Law also shared with us how his polygamous family setting shaped his life. Excerpts:
It's been one year since you got married, how's married life treating you?
I am enjoying married life because it is a wonderful experience. My wife sees me as everything. I have many reasons to love my wife more. Our love is renewed each day with sweet memories of the past as a positive driving force filled with forgiveness.
What has changed about you since you got married?
Nothing much has changed about me, but I don't go out as I used to before I got married. Apart from that, I am still myself. Marriage has helped me to be more calm and happy. It has made me a better person than I was because I now see things in a different light. I think more of my family than myself, it is a responsibility that one cannot escape as a married man. When people see me these days, they say I’m looking bigger, and I tell them it’s one of the dividends of marriage.
Most people go into marriage with certain expectations which if not met creates problems, are your expectations being met in your marriage?
I am having fun in my marriage. I looked forward to having my kids immediately after marriage, so maybe that is the only thing that has not happened yet. Aside from that, I have a very good woman who takes very good care of me. She is one of the nicest woman I have ever met.
When I wake up in the morning, there is always something for me to eat before I leave the house and when I get back at night, I am confident that my home is in good hands. When I go out, I have nothing to worry about because I know my wife has what it takes to keep my home. When we talk, we discover that we reason alike and that is an interesting aspect of our relationship.
You are enthusiastic about having kids, how many do you wish to have?
My father has over 50 children, but I want to have three. Maybe when my first is 20 and the last one 10, I can drop one more to be the icing on the cake. I came from a polygamous family. It is all in God's hands.
How did coming from a polygamous home affect your life when growing up?
Although my father had many wives and children, I didn't live with my parents. Growing up, I stayed with my uncles and aunties. I stayed in a boarding house at school and I was always away from home most times. That doesn't mean the polygamous setting of my family didn't affect me. What I discovered as a child was that the attention of my father was divided. I never enjoyed the company of my father and didn't even feel his impact on my education.
It was like I grew up on my own. Most times, I feel like a stranger trying to meet some expectations of family members but my mom was so particular about our education. She worked hard to educate us, I appreciate her for that. Another impact of polygamy on me was that I had the opportunity to start thinking of having my own home on time. I read a lot of books on marriage and told myself I want to be a good husband and be the best man any women would have as a husband. Maybe that is why I married on time, I just want to be a different man from what my father was.
Talking about your mom, is she still alive, how does she feel seeing you now as one of the famous comedians in Nigeria?
She is still alive and strong. She had nine of us and saw that we had good education. She is a very strong woman. She is fulfilled seeing me make it in comedy. She is always proud of me and never ceases to pray for me all the time.
What attracted you to your wife?
The way she laughs. I remember it was September 30th 2007 at Global Impact Church, Surulere that I met her for the first time. I was invited to perform and when I looked across the hall, there was this lady laughing her heart out and very jovial too. That caught my attention. She was genuinely happy, calm and excited too. I saw all that before I went on stage to perform.
After performing, I was leaving with my friend Emeka Smith, a comedian when the same lady walked up to me and said "I love your confidence on stage. I am just seeing you for the first time and your confidence is out of this world." I thanked her and we exchanged numbers. Fortunately for me, she was waiting for a cab with her friend like I was, so I got a cab that took us all. The cab dropped them at home, while my friend and I continued our own journey home. We just clicked. It was a match made in heaven.
You are very excited about being married, where will you not be found as a married man?
I don't know. Because of the nature of my job, I am everywhere. I could be working in a hotel, in a club and anywhere I am called to perform but it is not the place where I am that is the problem, it is me as a person that determines what happens. It is what I am doing at a particular time that matters. I could be in a hotel preaching the gospel (Laughs).
How does your wife cope with your schedule as a busy comedian, doesn't it affect your relationship with her?
She understands my job perfectly. Sometimes, we travel together. I always want her to go out with me but sometimes, she tells me to go because she must learn to be home and take care of our home before the kids start coming. She is a very understanding person and that makes our relationship easier.
How do you get your jokes?
My only source of inspiration is God. As a comedian, you have to look at yourself first as a human being that God gave a gift, the ability to think of things in a different dimension and stand to make a joke out of it so that people listening to you would laugh and have a good time. It is God who gives us the ability to think out of the box and create jokes that will make people laugh.
You just have the ability to bring out the comical aspect of everything. The fact that God has also given us an enabling environment is another thing I am grateful for as a comedian. I have an environment that is good enough for my job and a God that gives me the grace to bring out jokes from things we see everyday without taking note of their comical aspects. We watch TV, read papers, and listen to people's experiences, this gives me ideas for my jokes. Most times, I get my jokes when I spend time with my colleagues because we talk, discuss and brainstorm on some issues which in turn gives me ideas.
How has it been for you as a comedian?
I have been very busy although there is a difference between being busy and making money and being busy but the money is not coming in like it is supposed to. I am a very charitable person but that doesn't mean I don't take my job seriously. I help people a lot because money is not everything in life. The respect you earn from people and the prayers they offer on your behalf is what I don't joke with because it goes a long way in helping me in my career. The journey has been great and challenging too.
How do you handle the stress of your job, how do you re-invent yourself so that you don't get stuck in a rut?
The sweet thing about my job is that it is the most difficult job in the world psychologically and at the same time, the most stress-relieving job you can do. I could be very busy in Lagos and then have another engagement in Abuja, but then I discover I have about five hours to rest before my next event and that gives me time to relax. That rest and change of environment is good enough to help me relax well. Most times, I take time out for holidays abroad. I just travel to rest and appraise my performance. And also, my wife gives me some pampering that helps calm my nerves whenever I get stressed.
You talk passionately about your wife and marriage, what do you have to say to single men who have the means but are not ready to settle down?
They have to read their Bibles very well because God has not given us the spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind. They are actually timid about it because it is one step men are always careful about. I remember my elder brother told me "when you marry the wrong woman, you will never make heaven." That is something I held unto because if you marry the wrong person, you will experience hell on earth. Men who married wrongly have no peace at home and when they are outside, their minds are not at rest too. It negatively affects everything about them.
That I love my wife doesn't mean we don't have misunderstandings, it means we resolve them as soon as they come and move on. Because I am very passionate about my wife, little issues I have with her affects my mood when I work. It takes me more time to come up with jokes at those times and because of that , I make sure we put aside our differences before I go out to work. Single men should pray to God for direction and also be bold to take the step. It is very important that a man settles down.
How did you come up with your stage name, Seyi Law?
Seyi Law was the name given to me by Jedi as a senior colleague in the industry. Jedidiah is a comedian I respect so much. I met him in 2006. I performed at a church and got a standing ovation for my performance. He was so impressed that he prayed for me and encouraged me. After the show, we met and he said I had to change my stage name from Seyi Easy to something more catchy and fun.
He advised me about making a brand as a comedian from my names. He asked me my names and I told him Oluwaseyitan Lawrence Aletile and he said why don't you pick Seyi Law? He asked me if I liked it and I said I love the sound of it. Immediately, I decided to change my stage name and since I was still new in the industry, it was very easy for me to change it. That was how the name stuck. Today, Seyi Easy is not bring money but Seyi Law is counting money.
When did your major break come as a comedian?
I have had major breaks but the major one came when I won the AY open mic comedy competition in 2006. After I won that competition, I had the opportunity to meet and relate with senior colleagues in the industry. I started building relationships with them and like they say, for every business you do, contacts are very important. I also had the opportunity to stay and learn from AY who organized the Open Mic competition for over a year before I decided to stand as a brand called Seyi Law. Other breaks came as I put to use what I learnt from my colleagues.
How would you describe the role some of your colleagues have played in your life and career?
The professional aspect of comedy started for me in 2007. After I learnt the rudiments of comedy from AY and from other senior colleagues, I made a decision to put my act together and build Seyi Law as a unique brand. It is not bad learning from people but don't try to be like someone else because you end up being a second version of that person.
Be yourself and learn from people who have gone ahead and you will become a unique you. Having studied my colleagues, I understand the creativity of I go dye, the descriptive power of Gandoki, the aggressiveness of Gordons. I also have learnt the fatherly figure Ali Baba stands for in the comedy industry. I understand the branding Basketmouth has brought into the industry as well as the use of English Language by AY, Teju Babyface and Jedi. I try to bring all these into a body called Seyi Law and then introduce my own distinctive feature too. I introduced stammering jokes and the infusion of Yoruba Language into jokes. This stands me out.
What do you hope to achieve as a comedian?
I want to surpass the record of any Nigerian comedian. Probably, I want to be the person that will take comedy to Afghanistan. I have plans to taking comedy everywhere in the world.
What are your challenges?
If you are new in the industry, you face the challenge of recognition. As hard as you try to overcome recognition, respect is another challenge you have to overcome too. People tend to look down on comedians a lot. They compare us to musicians even though we do major part of the work during shows. So, there is no basis for comparism. That is a boundary we are trying to break. There is also the challenge of placing the face with the joke and the name. It is not also easy coming up with fresh jokes that will make people laugh. You need to crack new jokes otherwise people will no longer laugh at your old jokes.
How is your family taking your rise to fame?
I thank God for the kind of family He blessed me with. We have always understood that every position we attain in life is a place of privilege. That is the virtue my mom imbibed in all of us her children. She raised us to be humble, down to earth and accommodating of everybody.
You sound very religious, how would you describe your spiritual life?
In my life journey, God has blessed me with men of God that are like fathers to me. maybe because I didn't have my biological father around me, God made up for it by sending me spiritual fathers that have blessed me, and help nurture me. Growing up, I attended Cherubim and Seraphim but later joined CAC where I learn then importance of prayer and serving God wholeheartedly. I also got the opportunity to attend Global Impact Church where I learnt the motivating aspect of the Bible. As effective prayers can take you places, it is wisdom that will help you remain on top. I combine all these to help myself. I believe that God is the source of my success and I maintain a healthy relationship with Him.
What are your own principles of success?
Determination, hard work, and humility with the supreme being which is God through Jesus will make success a dream come true. Let passion drive your determination to hard work and keep you humble so that with God, you can achieve success.
What is your secret to a lasting marital relationship?
It is a triangular thing. It takes God, the man and the woman to build a lasting marital relationship. I tell people that some of the things I enjoy now in my marriage, I learnt from marriage counseling classes which I attended that at Global Impact Church. They taught us that marriage is a relationship between you and your wife with God at the top of the triangle.
When you put God ahead of you and learn to love each other, your marriage will last. There is nowhere it is written that marriage will either be sweet or bitter, but it is your choice that makes it work. If you choose happiness, you will work towards a happy home. If you choose to make it sad, bitter and sour, you will indirectly work towards it and that is what you will get.
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